once again. I got to chat with my best friend Abby last night for quite a while. Not the same as being with her, but just what I needed for now. She's in Florida working with NMSI, so visits are quite rare. Hopefully she'll be able to take a little vacation to Indiana around Christmas so we'll be able to get together.
I think you know a best friend when you can spend years apart, and when you get together, it's like there was never any distance. That's Abby for me. We were college roommates. I am convinced God brought us together, but we had a lot of difficult times. If you would have asked me then if I considered Abby my best friend, I probably would have said no just because of all of the stuff we went through. But now, without a doubt, she is the one I miss more than anyone... the one who gets me no matter what I'm facing... the one I know is praying for me without even needing to ask for it. I consider her an aunt to my children even though they barely know her (Josiah hasn't met her yet) and such a blessing in my life even from hundreds of miles away.
I look forward to our next visit... for her to see my spirited Jenna and my sweet Josiah and to see what we'll end up baking this time!
So Abby, this post is for you. I love you my sweet friend!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Have you ever...
felt so incredibly loved, blessed beyond belief, and yet still so alone? Yeah I know... it doesn't make sense. I really think I'm feeling this way because we don't have any friends here. I recognize the amazing friends and family I have but am so in need of good quality time with friends now. God has truly helped me through this time by giving me peace, but some days are still rough. Come to think of it, those are the days that I'm acting and thinking a little more selfishly... hmm...
I know it isn't a bad thing to want or need time with friends, but the days that I'm really putting my focus and energy into my family and God, I don't feel that so much. Something to think about maybe...
I really didn't have any coherent thoughts to share, but I felt like I needed to get some of those thoughts/feelings out somehow. So here ya go. :)
Would appreciate prayers-- for peace, for the right job for Cameron, wisdom and discernment on our part, and a change of heart if God's plans are not our current desires.
I know it isn't a bad thing to want or need time with friends, but the days that I'm really putting my focus and energy into my family and God, I don't feel that so much. Something to think about maybe...
I really didn't have any coherent thoughts to share, but I felt like I needed to get some of those thoughts/feelings out somehow. So here ya go. :)
Would appreciate prayers-- for peace, for the right job for Cameron, wisdom and discernment on our part, and a change of heart if God's plans are not our current desires.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
My kitchen
smells like chocolate cake! Yum! Today is my daddy's birthday, so I'm baking a cake to take up to him tomorrow. I love to bake but seem to be having trouble finding time to do so... hmmm... couldn't have anything to do with a 3-year-old running around the house and a 1-month-old needing to eat every 3 hours. ;)
My weekend with Brittany was wonderful! It was very relaxing even with Josiah. It did take a couple days to get back into the swing of things, though. I don't think I realized how tired I was until I finally got home and just crashed.
Life as a family of 4 has been such a joy. Of course, we have our difficult days, but overall, this transition has been much smoother than I ever anticipated. I began praying at the beginning of my pregnancy for Jenna's heart to be prepared and for my recovery to go smoothly and quickly. God most definitely answered those prayers! After I had Jenna, I feel that I came close to postpartum depression... maybe even more so than I originally thought. The only thing that got me through it was the fact that we were living with my parents at the time and there was almost always someone at the house with me. Having struggled through that, I was terrified of going through the rollercoaster of emotions that comes postpartum. I have to say, I have only faced a few very difficult days in the last 5 1/2 weeks that we have had little Josiah. Praise God! I am convinced that He is the reason this transition has gone as smoothly as it has.
I'm relearning the power of prayer. I know I mentioned that in my last post. I am just constantly amazed at God's answers to our requests. Parenting has given me glimpses of God that I never knew before-- the love that He has for his children, the heartbreak He feels when He must discipline them, and the joy He feels when He blesses them with gifts that may not even be needs.
Thank you, God, for being a God who hears our requests and answers!
My weekend with Brittany was wonderful! It was very relaxing even with Josiah. It did take a couple days to get back into the swing of things, though. I don't think I realized how tired I was until I finally got home and just crashed.
Life as a family of 4 has been such a joy. Of course, we have our difficult days, but overall, this transition has been much smoother than I ever anticipated. I began praying at the beginning of my pregnancy for Jenna's heart to be prepared and for my recovery to go smoothly and quickly. God most definitely answered those prayers! After I had Jenna, I feel that I came close to postpartum depression... maybe even more so than I originally thought. The only thing that got me through it was the fact that we were living with my parents at the time and there was almost always someone at the house with me. Having struggled through that, I was terrified of going through the rollercoaster of emotions that comes postpartum. I have to say, I have only faced a few very difficult days in the last 5 1/2 weeks that we have had little Josiah. Praise God! I am convinced that He is the reason this transition has gone as smoothly as it has.
I'm relearning the power of prayer. I know I mentioned that in my last post. I am just constantly amazed at God's answers to our requests. Parenting has given me glimpses of God that I never knew before-- the love that He has for his children, the heartbreak He feels when He must discipline them, and the joy He feels when He blesses them with gifts that may not even be needs.
Thank you, God, for being a God who hears our requests and answers!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Thoughts from today
I'm sitting here in Knoxville, TN at my brother's house. Brittany, Josiah, and I will be heading out to Charleston, SC tomorrow to spend the weekend relaxing. Yay! I was able to visit for a short time with the Motts today. That was SUCH a blessing. They have been going through a lot lately, and I've felt such a burden for them. It was wonderful just to be able to listen and give hugs. (I didn't mind showing off my baby boy either.) :D
I've never been so great at journaling/blogging regularly, but lately I feel like God has really been nudging me to start keeping track of the ways He answers my prayers-- no matter how small or large. In the last few days, I have seen God answer even some of my smallest requests-- things as simple as, "Lord please allow me to feel rested when I wake up in the morning." There have been many others, and quite honestly I can't remember them-- which is why I think God is asking me to remember. And for me that means I need to write it down because I feel like I've completely lost my mind and just don't remember things anymore. :)
I've been reminded a lot lately of my miscarriage-- partially because it happened just over a year ago, but mostly when I look into the eyes of my little Josiah. I hated... HATED... going through that time. God definitely got us through it, and I am so thankful that I had Cameron with me. As much as I wish we never would have had to face that trial, I look at my beautiful baby boy and can't imagine life without him. I am so amazed at how God can take something so difficult and painful and find a way to make it precious and beautiful.
I am completely overwhelmed right now with love for my God and my family...
I have so many emotions that I can't find the words for-- maybe that's why I seem to struggle with keeping up with writing about them. I won't give up quite yet. :)
For now, my bed (well, Brent and Brittany's guest bed) is calling my name. I have a 3:30 appointment with a handsome little guy, and I'd like to get some rest before our drive to SC tomorrow.
I've never been so great at journaling/blogging regularly, but lately I feel like God has really been nudging me to start keeping track of the ways He answers my prayers-- no matter how small or large. In the last few days, I have seen God answer even some of my smallest requests-- things as simple as, "Lord please allow me to feel rested when I wake up in the morning." There have been many others, and quite honestly I can't remember them-- which is why I think God is asking me to remember. And for me that means I need to write it down because I feel like I've completely lost my mind and just don't remember things anymore. :)
I've been reminded a lot lately of my miscarriage-- partially because it happened just over a year ago, but mostly when I look into the eyes of my little Josiah. I hated... HATED... going through that time. God definitely got us through it, and I am so thankful that I had Cameron with me. As much as I wish we never would have had to face that trial, I look at my beautiful baby boy and can't imagine life without him. I am so amazed at how God can take something so difficult and painful and find a way to make it precious and beautiful.
I am completely overwhelmed right now with love for my God and my family...
I have so many emotions that I can't find the words for-- maybe that's why I seem to struggle with keeping up with writing about them. I won't give up quite yet. :)
For now, my bed (well, Brent and Brittany's guest bed) is calling my name. I have a 3:30 appointment with a handsome little guy, and I'd like to get some rest before our drive to SC tomorrow.
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