i am israel

i was reading jeremiah yesterday, and i came to the point where israel is pleading for mercy. as i read, i found myself getting extremely frustrated with israel. now, i know it is difficult to sense the tone when reading, and as i read, i started wondering if the tone i picked up was based on my own experience with repentance. i was frustrated with israel because they seemed as if they were reminding god of who he was (as if he didn't know): merciful, loving, faithful, etc. the tone i sensed was not one of true repentance. it felt like they were just words with no intent of change. then i realized... this is me! ha what a revelation, i know. it really made me question my understanding of repentance. i'm not so sure i truly understand what it means to make a complete 180. i know i say a lot of the right things. i even do a lot of the right things, but how often is my motivation sincere? 

anyway... that's really as far as i got with those thoughts. i'm still just kind of letting it soak in. i've always had difficulty reading the old testament because i had such a hard time seeing how it fits my life. i always heard everybody say, "we are israel" blah blah blah. i know all of those things. seeing how i interpret scripture based on my own experiences (subconscious or not) really hit me. it's been a while since i've really felt open to allowing god to speak to me through his word, and as simple as these thoughts may be, god spoke...